Facts Of Lyfe.

Life Entry #5- Growing Up With a Dream Deferred

Hello world! This is officially the most consistent I have been so far creating these blogs and strive to continue this trend for as long as I possibly can or until I get writer’s block. For now, I think I still have a lot to talk about. Today’s topic will be more centered around the idea of growing up and how, in many ways, I both hate it and love it.

I am officially 20 years old and still hold dreams of grandeur that I had when I was 10. Many dreams that include: starting my own record label, making my own comic book series, developing my own business, creating my own video game and probably more that I just can’t remember.

Experiences in college have made me realize how much time I have left until jumping into the real world because time, in itself, is a luxury that we can not get back. With the time I have had in these 20 years I have attempted to fulfill all four of the dreams I previously mentioned. However, I am concerned that I am becoming too old for some of my dreams.

Now, let me make things clear. Stan Lee, Marvel Comics former editor in-chief and comic extraordinaire, is 95 years old and has made his passion into a career. I am not saying that age specifically is the factor. In my case, it is more about timing.

As a rising junior in college, I am still set on making my dreams come true and have spare time to bring them to fruition. However, there are mental barriers and even financial ones that come into play. An entrepreneur must always take risks but in my opinion, I feel like these risks should be calculated as best as possible. In saying this, I want everyone to understand that as you grow older the risks becomes greater because the stakes are higher.

This is not a great revelation for everyone, I understand this, but it was for me. Growing up, I would always create new ideas in a matter of seconds but would have no call to action. This lack of action hindered me for quite some time until high school when I realized that I needed another person to keep my accountable. That is when I spoke to my god brother about business. We both love video games and business equally, so putting our heads together to combine our smarts was honestly the obvious solution.

Thankfully, we took initiative on creating a comic and made a startup without any previous knowledge. It was the best moment of my life and quite significant. Time in this moment was in a bubble, seemingly immovable. Nonetheless, time always marches on.

Knowing that there are stakes in the world was a shock. I never knew the importance of considering your future until recently. Following college, my mom is not requiring me to get a job or continue to graduate school so I could choose to take a gap year and make my dreams a reality during this period of time. Or let that time serve as more of a continuation of what I started in college instead of it just being the beginning. However, I would never do that to my mother.

Remember what I said about financial barriers? My mom is currently struggling to pay her house down and take care of both me and my sister. If you looked at my last post, Life Entry #4, regarding my grandfather; you would know that he lived with my family and served as another source of income for the house. He helped us take care of bills and would not ask for much in return except a room and some good food. After his passing, the undertaking of a house became a lot more daunting.

Downsizing was an option for my mom, however, she quickly realized how much of her funds were sunk in to the house and how she couldn’t recuperate her losses by selling it. My mom is very open to me about her finances, hoping that I will not make the same mistakes or even be more aware of my money. In doing this, she has enlightened me about her struggles but also made me feel anxious about becoming an entrepreneur.

I never really “grew up” until I realized how much my mom struggled to keep a roof over our heads. This made me feel more obligated to secure higher education or follow the typical career path because I am afraid I will fail and make the burden greater for her.

There is a side of entrepreneurship that many people do not share, the stories of those who failed and invested their life savings into businesses that were not successful. The ability to “try again” whenever you fail is a luxury provided to those who do not have to worry about the consequences of failure. What happens to those who have to encounter the end result of their failure directly?

Growing up entails a different reality where an idealist such as myself must keep this sense of imagination while still succumbing to a small dosage of realism. I can fulfill my dreams and become a self-employed creative. To achieve this goal, my path may not be shaped like the entrepreneurs who have become millionaires in their early 20s. That is a small minority of individuals, and I represent a different population.

I represent those who continue to hold on to their dreams while still working in the background. No matter how long it takes, whether it be at the age of 40,50, or even 60, I am a part of a group of dreamers who will do not work for the end result but instead live for the journey.

I hate growing up because it means I have less time to fulfill my dreams but I also love it because I am learning more than before and have a call to action. In my opinion, all adults are really still kids with a different title who still hold on to their childhood dreams.

If you have a dream, do not let this blog post discourage you or make it to where I am saying that you will not be successful by a young age. This is more of a self-reflection, a conclusion that reassures myself not to compare my situation to others because my time to bring my dreams to light will come. Nonetheless, this moment will not arrive without action. There is not shortcut to success or self-actualization. 

Remember that your path will not look the same as others and sometimes it will take longer for you to get to your end goal.

My mom used to always say to me “Javon, it doesn’t matter when you finish the race. All that matters is that you finish and give it the best you can.”

Take my mother’s advice and find your own way to finish the race…

Side note, if you noticed my header image for this blog post was a little different in comparison to others. It is a picture of Langston Hughes. One of my favorite Harlem Renaissance poets and writer of the poem “A Dream Deferred.” Please check it out if you have not already, it is truly a splendid poem. Here is the link if you want to read it: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/46548/harlem

Thanks for your time everyone! I appreciate you all and look forward to writing more tomorrow, see you then!

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